since boundaries have been broken and personal space been seriously violated, this journal will from now on be friends-only. i do not appreciate being made to feel uncomfortable in my own cyberspace, but if i have to take measures to protect myself, then i will.

i am very specific about who i allow to read this. if i didn't tell you where to find it, then you have no business reading it. hello, goodbye.

went to start working on Dot's apartment this afternoon. it was worse than i thought. john and terry said Dot had once admitted that she hadn't cleaned since she moved it, and it definitely showed; there were dustbunnies like mad and everything was nicotine-stained. she also neurotically hoarded groceries. actually, she neurotically hoarded everything. you name it, she had about 40 of it still in the package.

we managed to be pretty cold about things, taking things we thought we could use and boxing up the rest to either throw out or bring to the goodwill. however, it doesn't look like we even touched anything except for the fact that there are no books left in the bookcase. this is going to be a very long project, and i don't know how much i can help out. between my mom backseat driving, all the clutter and the fact that everyone talks over everyone else, i'm gonna go crazy if i have to go there every day.

and then, to have to come home to my no-less-cluttered bedroom, where my overfull hamper had spilled on the way out the door before... i'm doing laundry now, regardless of being tired and sore, just so i don't snap and throw out everything i own. as soon as the horror convention i'm going to is out of the way, i'm gonna buckle down on the job search, and subsequently the apartment search. but i can only concentrate on one thing at once, and the con is in two weeks.

i have a lot to get together for that, including a costume for the saturday night showing of Rocky Horror. i bought new fishnets, which make me happy. i haven't had fishnets since college. i want to find a schoolgirl skirt, but i think it's a bit after the season. might have to order one from Torrid.com. or might just have to suffice with a little black skirt. all i know is, it has to look good with tall black vinyl FMBs :D i mean, i can't very well go spend a weekend with a bunch of geeky boys while not looking my best, right? ;) (i'm so bad.)

You may ask me a real question about any OR all of the following:

Friends

Sex

Music

Drugs

Love

Livejournal

Porn

Miscellaneous (your choice)


List slightly modified from the original.

Comments will not be screened (enjoy the voyeurism :-P), but be as candid and direct or as naughty as you want - and I will do the same, so keep that in mind with what you ask. :-)

Aunt Dot passed away this morning.

i initially had this with the last post, but then i realized that it was too many downer posts in a row, so i took this out to make a nice break from all the anger and depression.

on a slight upnote... i got my copy of the soundtrack for "The Last Unicorn." listening to it now and it's making me happier... funny, as i was typing that, it made me think of the scene where Haggard talks about how the unicorns are the only thing that makes him happy. there's no croaky Mia Farrow on here, and in a way, i miss it... that's the version i grew up with. instead, it's the girl who sings for Amalthea in the duet with Lir (and it's funny that it's printed "Lear" on the CD).

might go to a cheapie movie with K tonight. i think i should, because i don't get out enough, but while i don't feel up to it yet, i also don't want to go out too late. going to (fucking freezing cold) NYC tomorrow (at BFE a.m., or 0-stupid:30 as Kimpy calls it... i always loved that *G*)

when i got home from work yesterday, Aunt Dot was sitting on the couch, talking to Mom. she's decompensated so much... i swear, knowing you're sick makes you get sicker. she's on oxygen and using a walker. it's like her mind is going already (not that she was 100% together to begin with, but she wasn't even making sense). she opened her Yule gifts, and i was trying to tell her about the owl i gave her, the personal significance it held for me in regard to her... she didn't even understand. and the other part of her gift was a gas card, which in the moment i felt like an asshole for :| *sigh...* i know i couldn't have known when i bought it the turn her life would take, but i still felt like i was slapping her in the face.

she left yesterday to go to the hospital, from where she would be placed in a nursing home. when i got back from thursday girls i asked Mom if we'd heard anything, but she said we hadn't.

i'm aware of the inevitable end, but i'm still scared.

called tv girl for the second night in a row to ask which tickets i need to get for the monster movie convention we're going to next month. last night, she didn't answer and never called back. managed to get her tonight and she was all "you left a message?" grr. found out while i was talking to her what our thursday plans are (nice of S to tell me like we'd agreed on) and that we're supposed to go to the city to see a play this weekend for S's birthday. um, hello?

called S... since she'd said two weeks ago "i'd like to go to the city for my birthday," and since we'd thrown around half a dozen ideas about what we were going to do there, i was apparently supposed to magically know that we were definitely going to the city and definitely seeing a show. pardon me for not having my telepathy antenna up. i told her i understood that she and B live together and so talk about things, that she and tv girl talk a lot anyway, that information gets relayed among them, but that just because B and i work together doesn't mean we get to talk to each other. in fact, some weeks, we don't even see each other. "oh, yeah, i guess i do assume that the two of you talk..."

is it something about me? i feel like a fucking afterthought everywhere i go. no one tells me anything because they assume someone else is going to, or that i've magically gleaned things from ancient half-assed conversations. sorry, but a brainstorming session two weeks ago doesn't tell me what was decided on, and i shouldn't have to remain nestled up someone's arse just to be in the loop on things. (truth be told, much as i like them, if i saw any one of them more often than i do, i'd have to throttle them.) they sure as hell don't contact me any more frequently than when we're going to get together, and i don't feel the need to do so with them, but dammit, a little advance notice, please?! if i hadn't needed to call tv girl tonight, i would have had to wait until thursday to find out about this weekend, and probably equally as accidentally.

thursday is another story... we'd started that new rotating weeks thing, and it was S's week last week. she had been out in CA for school and her flight home on thursday was delayed to the point where she wouldn't be home until late, so we made other plans. i had no idea whether we were going to skip her week or bump her week to this one. the rule is that the person planning calls all the others NO LATER than wednesday. was i going to get a call tomorrow, or was it assumed that B, in all her self-centered glory, supposed to tell me? setting up the weeks this way was supposed to eliminate there being last-minute bullshit, or in my case, someone being left completely out of the loop.

i got an Aunt Dot update tonight. it's not good.

she keeps falling down. she won't stop smoking. she doesn't want to eat and only wants to drink soda and tea (she's diabetic). it's like she's trying to expedite the process. in a way, where it's inevitable, i almost can't blame her... but i'm still angry. i found out, too, that her coming down for christmas part two was supposed to happen when she told Mom she was ready, and Mom hasn't heard from Dot yet. knowing Dot, she's waiting for Mom to call her so she (Dot) can make a melodrama out of it.

she was in such good spirits when she was at the hospital, almost eerily so, Dot being Dot. i'd almost hate to see her now. i'm also angry at her because she's always said things like "well, if i'm still around next year..." it's almost like she wished this on herself or something, like she negative-thinkinged herself into being sick. i know, smoking and not taking care of one's being diabetic is the greater part, but the other plays a role, too.

just... gah.

had a great day in the city with Egha and Aunt Vickey. they drove down to the house and picked me up so we wouldn't have to worry about finding each other on the train. we went to Canal St. and went into the back rooms of shops to browse knock-off purses, haggled with peddlers, visited the tent bazaar on B'way. i introduced them to Pearl River and the Container Store, both of which they loved. we introduced Aunt Vickey to the joys of the subway and crossing the street when you're not supposed to. we also subjected her to Urban Outfitters and Ricky's (the latter of which she said was "interesting" lol).

my score for the day: a fake Dolce & Gabbana bag. i tried to find it online with no luck, so i took pictures.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g276/Mwyaren/fanpursecloseup.jpg

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g276/Mwyaren/fanpurse.jpg

i got a gorgeous silver cuff bracelet with a big light purple stone, a velvet burn-out scarf that's black with blue flowers, a cranberry and silver coin belt, bamboo boxes, some teas and a few other odds and ends.

Aunt Vickey and Egha found themselves some backroom purses and Aunt Vickey got some scarves; they also got some trinkets and such at Pearl River, and Egha got some perfume.

all in all, it was a good day :) we went to the Yankee Clipper for dinner when we got back, where i had a Belgian waffle with bananas and walnuts on it. yum!

back home now with my take scattered across my bed. i should put this all away soon lol.

and as a side note about the movie: i love the scene at the reception where they dance to "Jambalaya." makes me miss Nawlins.

http://s58.photobucket.com/albums/g276/Mwyaren/Dragonsmoot%20January%205-8/

only 16 out of the 104 i kept. most were of art i liked or pretty buildings, so little of any relevance to anyone else, hence i shant bore you lol.

took Egha and Patti out the other night and was the DD, as promised. it's funny, the two of them are so used to having to drive, they've forgotten how to get drunk in a bar. Patti, at least, did manage to get a little tipsy, and i told them we'd have to go out and try again some other night ;) on the way home, had to deal with some idiot in an oversized truck wanting to be in my lane the same time i was; kept swerving into my lane, making me swerve in an effort not to get creamed. i managed to get further up in my lane, and next thing i know he comes tearing around doing about 70 and makes the point of getting ahead of me in my lane. dick. Patti said he was probably drunk.

had Egha cut my hair today... it's really cute :) i'll take pics tomorrow when it's not blown straight and parted down the middle lol. i finally got her to cut in all the layers i've been wanting. i can't quite put it up with sticks, but i'll deal. at least i don't *need* to put it up to get it out of the way. we've both been talking lately, too, about how much we both liked it when it was short. i dunno, i might do it again, but i know i'll get tired of it quickly... i hate dealing with products and implements, and that's the only way it looked good when it was short.

i had an interesting moment while driving the other night. i was coming back home from my night with the girls and had all of route 9 to myself, right about where the speed turns 55. i guess i fell into that driver's zen, where even if i hadn't been the only one on the road, it felt like i was. i was relaxed, my speed was perfect, and nothing existed but me and Rupert... for a few seconds, life felt perfect. i can't really do justice to how it all felt, but i'm sure any of you who are drivers have had a moment like this. it made me understand how people can enjoy driving.

supposed to go to NYC with Egha and Vickey on sunday, just to have lunch and do a little shopping in Chinatown. Egha wants to go to Canal St. and pick up a Gucci knockoff bag lol. i said we should also go to Pearl River.

i'm having a hard time finding degus... looked at degu sites online with no luck. i tried the online yellow pages to look for pet shops and they listed a place in fishkill that's been closed for ten years. i guess i'll have to actually flip through the phonebook and make calls.

we're trying something new with thursday nights: each person is assigned a week and picks what we do that week. there's no questions, no arguments. i was first, and we went to Jade for chinese then went to see a movie at the second run theatre ("Marie Antoinette," and it wasn't worth the two bucks). next week is S's week and we're going to her place for pizza, alcohol and board games. sounds good to me :) hell, anything other than staring at each other in B&N sounds good right now. i think, if someone else doesn't suggest it first, we should go back to Fun Central again.

Aunt Dot has been staying upstairs since she got out of the hospital. aunt terry said today that when Dot went to the doctor earlier this week, she was told she had two weeks to six months.

...

for those of you on smarch, a version of this will also likely be posted there. just ignore it. pictures also soon to follow.

now, let's see how much i can actually remember... perhaps Twinnie can help fill in the blanks later.

( Friday )

( Saturday )

( Sunday )

( Monday )

am still zausted today, but i'm apparently not in a hurry to get to bed lol. i'm watching CSI and playing an online crossword with my mom. had gone out for Thai with a co-worker earlier and had wanted to go shopping, but then i found out House was new this week, so i'll go shopping tomorrow lol.

ok... bed now.

am home from dragontwin minismoot. am tired and fairly broke. trip report to come. but not tonight.

i've already started laundry... i have a few loads to do, plus i need to (please, for the love of Dog) change my sheets. need to do the degu cage before the weekend. am recharging Percival and have updated his song mix. and while i'm thinking of it, re: the request for car pics, i will probably be taking pics of Rupert on friday morning when i can get good light (since it's still a bit dim out before i leave for work and after i get home). have friday and monday off so i'm available to visit Twinnie while she's at her stepbro's ::bouncysquee:: will start packing when laundry is done.

i need to think about getting a friend for Tawa next week. he's so sad... also need to start looking at the want ads. i can't take it at that job much longer. lorraine is gonna make me crazy. yesterday, i was outside showing someone my car right about the time everyone comes in for the day. i guess lorraine was in the parking lot right behind us as we were walking back in. i got back to the office and lorraine walks in a minute later, trying to lay a guilt trip on me. "i thought maybe you would have waited for me so i could see your car, but i guess not." yeah... cuz you're tops on my list to stand out in the cold for. i told the woman i had been showing the car to that lorraine must think we're better friends than we are.

"well, maybe she wants to be better friends."

"yeah. that's not happening."

i can't deal with thumb-in-every-pot people. to make matters worse, she was fishing for info about my personal life again today. i had told her once before that i give her the respect of not asking about things she's not already being forthcoming about and that i would like the same, but she doesn't get it. her type never do.

made a jewelry sale today and have another pending. i had bought some hamsa keychains a couple weeks ago to make necklaces from... one woman bought two of them outright and wants a necklace made as well. i have to pick up beads tomorrow, though. i need to get a lot of things, actually, and i'm terribly excited to be able to go out and cash my check straight after work, then go shopping all the places i want to. i need to go to wallyworld for my scripts and some car stuff, the craft store for beads, Kohl's for driving gloves (that wheel is friggin COLD in the morning!) and prolly tool around to some other places just because i can. ~heeeee~ then i can go meet the girls for dinner and leave at 10 like i want to. well, maybe i'll stay out late this trip since i don't have work on friday.

so i guess Mom knew yesterday, but waited until today to make known (because she wanted me to enjoy my New Year's), that Aunt Dot has cancer in her liver and lungs. she had to wait until after the holiday weekend to see a oncologist, so we still don't know the extent, just the fact thereof. she's going to need to be on oxygen, and that's about all that's known.

i want to be hopeful, but i've known more people who lost their cancer battle than won it, esp. when there are major organs involved.

::huddles under blanket and grumbles::

yeah, i got the car :)

drove immediately to wallyworld to get an ice scraper lol. i'm such a dork.

so yeah, i'm just a little thrilled.

went to the used Hyundai dealership last night and looked at a car... went back tonight with bob and test drove it... i very well could be the proud owner of a 2004 Hyundai Accent by the new year ::crosses fingers::

tomorrow, i have to call about setting up my own car insurance as am currently covered under bob's.

this is scary, but really, really neat.

gacked from my Miiruleh

Percival has been successfully loaded with 261 songs. i still have a row and a half of CDs to put into my computer, but i couldn't wait any longer to put him to use. i'll just have to fill him back up again when i have all my songs together.

had a rather pouty moment last night, though, when i opened my Sarah McLachlan CD and found not Mirrorball inside, but a mix CD that dave made me. urk, and on so many levels.

i (heart) the shuffle... i just heard "It's the End of the World," and now playing: "Brick House" lol